Do you know how when you go to Disneyland and get in line for that first ride you often see the same people throughout the rest of the day? Well, that's the way I feel about Jon & Cristal Workman now. I'll explain later, but early on, after Sandy's diagnosis, Cristal (a complete stranger then, and the wife of a cancer survivor!) sent me a book titled "It Takes A worried Man". It's written by a 32 year old high school English teacher whose wife is diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. (He just happens to live in Boston and is a huge Red Sox fan, but that's beside the point.) I don't think I've ever read a more honest and gritty book in my life. I'm shocked at how he has somehow managed to capture and put down on paper so many of my thoughts, fears, anger, feelings of helplessness, hopes, and emotions. It's like he is inside my head. Everything from making fun of the humorless medical professionals he and his wife encounter, to trying to decide if alcohol or overeating is going to be his coping strategy is strangely very real to me. The language is bad, but even that in a sarcastic and sardonic way hits home for me. Here is an exert from the book that I've cleaned up a little: "I just want to be a normal person again. And the thing is, I can't. I can't ever. I realize that I have been fooling myself. I have been thinking that once the second round of treatment is over, that that's when we get our lives back. But the sad fact is that we never ever get our lives back like we had them before. There will always be appointments, and drugs, and possibly surgeries, and maybe new drugs, and encouraging test results and discouraging test results. I feel like I've been on hold for three months (Please continue to hold. Your life is important to us) and my thought has been, well, as soon as we get our lives back, I can stop eating like a hog, as soon as things are back to normal I will stay on top of my planning and correcting, (Insurance Agencies?) as soon as this is over I will take a deep breath and get back to living like a normal person again." So there you have it. It really hit me the other day after spending a great day at the beach with so many La Verne families who have helped us. We came home late at night after a wonderful day at the beach where we could actually pretend not to think about the cancer for a while. On the porch waiting for us as a reminder of the cancer was a large envelope from the City of Hope with previous mammograms they had sent back to us. It dawned on me. This IS our new normal life. It sure beats the alternative, but it isn't always easy.
So, back to Disneyland and the Workman's. I now see them everywhere. From the first day of school at Oak Mesa to ref training in San Dimas, they are there. And just like people at Disneyland in line for the roller coaster who have previously survived the ride, they are a calming and welcome source of comfort to us. I now consider them friends. For that, I am very grateful and somewhat less of a worried man..............
Jon
