Few have ever felt so pursued. Sometimes we wonder if we've even been noticed. Father was too busy to come to our games, or perhaps he jumped ship altogether. Mother was lost in a never-ending pile of laundry or, more recently, in her own career. We come into the world longing to be special to someone and from the start we are disappointed. It is a rare soul indeed who has been sought after for who she is-not because of what she can do, or what others can gain from her, but simply for herself. Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat you down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what he found there? More people have climbed Mt. Everest than have experienced real pursuit, and so what are we left to conclude? There is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much.
"In fact," we continue, "if I am not pursued, it must be because there is something wrong with me, something dark and twisted inside." We long to be known, and we fear it like nothing else. Most people live with a subtle dread that one day they will be discovered for who they really are and the world will be appalled. - The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge & Brent Curtis
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
God's Peace
Psalm 91
1 Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most Highwill rest in the shadow of the Almighty.[a]
2 I will say of the LORD, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust.”
“Because he[b] loves me,” says the LORD, “I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.
15 He will call on me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.
16 With long life I will satisfy him
and show him my salvation.”
Are you not feeling very peaceful in your life? One of the biggest benefits (with salvation being the biggest), is the promise of peace in any situation when you are a child of God. Can you even begin to put a price tag on peace? You could the richest person on earth and not be able to buy peace of mind, heart and soul. Peace is what lets you sleep soundly at night in the midst of a storm. Jesus slept in the middle of a storm, and the disciples asked themselves, "Who is this man?" (Mark 4) Jesus slept through the storm because He knew His Father was in control. He had peace.
Peace is a big word. We don't find peace in our world. Nations fight with other nations. We have family issues that bring turmoil and sleepless nights. We have children that keep us busy and worrying about their choices. We have marriages that are full of stress. We have jobs that are on the brink of going away, or are not paying enough to take care of the rising cost of living.
God's peace can come in the middle of our storms. God never closes His ears to our storms, and He does not sleep through them. He is always there for us with answers, but they may not be the answers you are telling Him to give you.
Psalm 50:15: “Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me.”
Peace comes when we put our faith in God's promises. We can put our fears in God's hands and take comfort that He knows what to do with them, and He is probably already fifty steps ahead of you on what is going to come next.
Take a peace test. If you are feeling anxious about a situation in your life, then pray for God's peace and guidance. Even if you have the faith of a small mustard seed, God will not turn away from your request. The path to peace is in God's Word. When I read through the book of Psalm, I find so many promises of deliverance and peace, I can't help but let go of my anxious thoughts and lay them at the foot of the cross.
"Don't tell God how big your storm is; tell your storm how big your God is!" - unknown
And have peace.
Sandy
Sunday, January 29, 2012
My Minister - Adam Donner
1 Timothy 4:6-8
We attend a rather large church, and it was in transition at this time. We were searching for a senior pastor, and although we have always had a great staff of associate ministers, I was not involved in activities that put them directly in my path to where I had a deep relationship with them. As I sat with my Dad, I said to him, "I feel as if I don't have a minister right now to work through this dark time."
Because I have grown up in the church, I know what it means to have a minister. A person committed to prayer and sound Biblical advice. Someone to know you and be the one to help navigate you through the trials of life. Someone invested in you who can stand up and speak for you (when the time comes) and give words of comfort to loved ones. They share the joys of life and give comfort when the waves threaten to overtake you.
As my Dad and I sat there crying, the phone rang. Something told me to answer it. It was Adam Donner, our young and fairly new Family Ministry Associate Pastor. He called to pray with me and offer any help he could give. We talked for a few minutes about the latest news, and then he said, "Sandy I want to be your minister through this." Those were the exact words that I had said to my father just minutes before! The word "minister" rang in my ear like God had just said them to me Himself.
God provided a minister that day. Adam came to the hospital and prayed for me and with my family. He has been the first one that I give good or bad news to, and he has provided great comfort and reassurance in the past five years. Adam was the one to anoint me with oil in my healing service.
Jesus said, "I will pray to the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever." John 14:16
Many people don't understand the Holy Spirit's function on earth. When you are a committed follower of Jesus Christ, His Spirit lives within you. There are often times when you feel a nudging from inside, and it is the Holy Spirit calling you to do something. Adam Donner is in tune to that calling, and does it with great compassion and love for others.
Today is the last day Adam Donner will be working at Glenkirk. He has taken on a Senior Pastor position at Pomona's Presbyterian Church. They can't even begin to fathom how blessed they are to have him. Adam not only answered the prompting to walk along side me in my time of need, but he has been the walking heart of Glenkirk's campus. I know he loves the seniors at the church, and they adore him. He has established a great ministry that reaches out to families and helps parents be connected with each other. He is always encouraging me (and the congregation) to get out of our comfort zone and be a light in our neighborhood for Christ.
Adam is very tall. Very tall. He is a tower of love and light, and is a great hugger and has an amazing smile and demeanor about him that shines God's love wherever he goes. He is a calm and steady man, who is faithful in his own relationship with Christ and sound Biblical teaching. He is truly the apple of God's eye.
It is with great sadness I say good-bye to Adam, but not forever. Our church will be keeping in touch with Adam's new congregation in partnering in any way we can. And of course, there will always be our reunion someday in heaven. I will miss catching Adam's eye and getting my hug for the day. I will miss popping into his office and rejoicing over God's amazing work. I will miss his lovely wife Amy, who is also a light for Christ and a comforting presence.
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18
Thank you Adam for being my minister and friend. I know there will never be a final good-bye between us. We have too many ways in which our paths will cross again.
Love,
Sandy
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If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters,[a] you will be a good minister of Christ Jesus, nourished on the truths of the faith and of the good teaching that you have followed. 7 Have nothing to do with godless myths and old wives’ tales; rather, train yourself to be godly. 8 For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.
Those of you who are regular readers of this Blog know that I am approaching my five year mark of living with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Anyone who has walked through a trauma, such as a horrible diagnosis, knows that there are days within the nightmare that are darker than others. One of my days was the morning after being told that there was cancer all over my bones. Jon went to work in a stunned state, I had kids to attend to and get off to school. We were trying to function for them like normal. After the kids were gone, my Dad called and said he wanted to come up to the house and be with me. We sat in each other's arms and cried. I was in physical and emotional pain, and I felt as if I was dying. We attend a rather large church, and it was in transition at this time. We were searching for a senior pastor, and although we have always had a great staff of associate ministers, I was not involved in activities that put them directly in my path to where I had a deep relationship with them. As I sat with my Dad, I said to him, "I feel as if I don't have a minister right now to work through this dark time."
Because I have grown up in the church, I know what it means to have a minister. A person committed to prayer and sound Biblical advice. Someone to know you and be the one to help navigate you through the trials of life. Someone invested in you who can stand up and speak for you (when the time comes) and give words of comfort to loved ones. They share the joys of life and give comfort when the waves threaten to overtake you.
As my Dad and I sat there crying, the phone rang. Something told me to answer it. It was Adam Donner, our young and fairly new Family Ministry Associate Pastor. He called to pray with me and offer any help he could give. We talked for a few minutes about the latest news, and then he said, "Sandy I want to be your minister through this." Those were the exact words that I had said to my father just minutes before! The word "minister" rang in my ear like God had just said them to me Himself.
God provided a minister that day. Adam came to the hospital and prayed for me and with my family. He has been the first one that I give good or bad news to, and he has provided great comfort and reassurance in the past five years. Adam was the one to anoint me with oil in my healing service.
Jesus said, "I will pray to the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever." John 14:16
Many people don't understand the Holy Spirit's function on earth. When you are a committed follower of Jesus Christ, His Spirit lives within you. There are often times when you feel a nudging from inside, and it is the Holy Spirit calling you to do something. Adam Donner is in tune to that calling, and does it with great compassion and love for others.
Today is the last day Adam Donner will be working at Glenkirk. He has taken on a Senior Pastor position at Pomona's Presbyterian Church. They can't even begin to fathom how blessed they are to have him. Adam not only answered the prompting to walk along side me in my time of need, but he has been the walking heart of Glenkirk's campus. I know he loves the seniors at the church, and they adore him. He has established a great ministry that reaches out to families and helps parents be connected with each other. He is always encouraging me (and the congregation) to get out of our comfort zone and be a light in our neighborhood for Christ.
Adam is very tall. Very tall. He is a tower of love and light, and is a great hugger and has an amazing smile and demeanor about him that shines God's love wherever he goes. He is a calm and steady man, who is faithful in his own relationship with Christ and sound Biblical teaching. He is truly the apple of God's eye.
It is with great sadness I say good-bye to Adam, but not forever. Our church will be keeping in touch with Adam's new congregation in partnering in any way we can. And of course, there will always be our reunion someday in heaven. I will miss catching Adam's eye and getting my hug for the day. I will miss popping into his office and rejoicing over God's amazing work. I will miss his lovely wife Amy, who is also a light for Christ and a comforting presence.
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, to all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18
Thank you Adam for being my minister and friend. I know there will never be a final good-bye between us. We have too many ways in which our paths will cross again.
Love,
Sandy
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Sunday, January 22, 2012
Not Perfect, But Purposeful
Every so often you will see someone write on Facebook something very honest and real, but most of the time it is filled with good news of shopping finds, children's accomplishments, or what fun activity the family did over the weekend. I have known it to be a good venue for asking for prayer, like this week when a friend was unexpectedly put in the hospital. The encouragement and love was overflowing on her Facebook Wall. I have certainly benefited from this same outpouring of love via Facebook. My husband is new to Facebook, and he said this week, "It is all very nice."
One thing I want to be sensitive of is that life is not always very Facebook worthy. There are fights with kids, misunderstanding with husbands, moments that you would not want plastered all over the Internet. Imagine posting, "Today was a horrible day. I snapped at my children because I was stressed and tired, and I hurt their feelings." or "Tonight we gathered to say our bedtime prayers and the kids got in a fight over a hair bow so we all went to bed irritated, and we did not pray."
Welcome to my house. It is not a perfect house. God does wonders with many things, but it is still a house of real and failed people who don't always say and do everything in a manner that would please the Lord. We don't always have our priorities straight, and we have moments (often) that require an apology to the person we hurt, and to God.
If you have ever looked at the Boulware Family and thought we lived on a heavenly cloud of perfectness, you should know that we are just like everyone else. I don't think my family wants me to tell you all their failings, so I will just share mine. My ongoing mistake is talking or acting out before I think. There are times (often) that I wish I had a "Pause" button that I could push right before I do something I am going to regret.
Failed but forgiven. The key here is that with Jesus in our hearts, we can be set back upright, brushed off, and sent again on life's way because we have a God that knows we will never be perfect. He hopes we will learn our lessons, but is a realist when it comes to a perfect life for us on earth. Hence, God sent His Son to pay the price for those things that could cause bigger issues and lead us into bondage.
Deep inside though, we yearn for being better. We know our weaknesses and want to conquer them. We get mad when we make the same mistakes. We know there is something better out there for us, and often we forget there is a "someone" who not only expects better from us, but is willing to walk along side us and offer great council and patience so that we can realize our true potential.
There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. This secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves. It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be. Isn't there a life you have been searching for all your days? You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether. But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that cries out for the life we prize. It is elusive, to be sure. It seems to come and go at will. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existence - John Eldridge
I am not perfect, but I have become purposeful. It was something that eluded me all my life, but it took cancer to find it. I prayed, for many years, that God would take me and mold me into something better. I knew I could be better. I am now doing what I was designed to do in life, but I have found that I am even more humbled because God has taken my weakness and made them strengths, and He uses me even though life is still not perfect. Why would He choose me still stirs me deep inside. He took a failed and obscure girl with poor English and writing skills and gave her a Blog that would go out all over the world.
The key to finding your purpose is to have a willing heart for Christ and a continued relationship with Him through prayer and scripture. When you desire to be better and give those human failing over to God, He can take them and turn them into an amazing gift that is only made perfect through His molding and love.
Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
Not perfect, but purposeful,
Sandy
One thing I want to be sensitive of is that life is not always very Facebook worthy. There are fights with kids, misunderstanding with husbands, moments that you would not want plastered all over the Internet. Imagine posting, "Today was a horrible day. I snapped at my children because I was stressed and tired, and I hurt their feelings." or "Tonight we gathered to say our bedtime prayers and the kids got in a fight over a hair bow so we all went to bed irritated, and we did not pray."
Welcome to my house. It is not a perfect house. God does wonders with many things, but it is still a house of real and failed people who don't always say and do everything in a manner that would please the Lord. We don't always have our priorities straight, and we have moments (often) that require an apology to the person we hurt, and to God.
If you have ever looked at the Boulware Family and thought we lived on a heavenly cloud of perfectness, you should know that we are just like everyone else. I don't think my family wants me to tell you all their failings, so I will just share mine. My ongoing mistake is talking or acting out before I think. There are times (often) that I wish I had a "Pause" button that I could push right before I do something I am going to regret.
Failed but forgiven. The key here is that with Jesus in our hearts, we can be set back upright, brushed off, and sent again on life's way because we have a God that knows we will never be perfect. He hopes we will learn our lessons, but is a realist when it comes to a perfect life for us on earth. Hence, God sent His Son to pay the price for those things that could cause bigger issues and lead us into bondage.
Deep inside though, we yearn for being better. We know our weaknesses and want to conquer them. We get mad when we make the same mistakes. We know there is something better out there for us, and often we forget there is a "someone" who not only expects better from us, but is willing to walk along side us and offer great council and patience so that we can realize our true potential.
There is a secret set within each of our hearts. It often goes unnoticed, we rarely can put words to it, and yet it guides us throughout the days of our lives. This secret remains hidden for the most part in our deepest selves. It is simply the desire for life as it was meant to be. Isn't there a life you have been searching for all your days? You may not always be aware of your search, and there are times when you seem to have abandoned looking altogether. But again and again it returns to us, this yearning that cries out for the life we prize. It is elusive, to be sure. It seems to come and go at will. Seasons may pass until it surfaces again. And though it seems to taunt us, and may at times cause us great pain, we know when it returns that it is priceless. For if we could recover this desire, unearth it from beneath all other distractions, and embrace it as our deepest treasure, we would discover the secret of our existence - John Eldridge
I am not perfect, but I have become purposeful. It was something that eluded me all my life, but it took cancer to find it. I prayed, for many years, that God would take me and mold me into something better. I knew I could be better. I am now doing what I was designed to do in life, but I have found that I am even more humbled because God has taken my weakness and made them strengths, and He uses me even though life is still not perfect. Why would He choose me still stirs me deep inside. He took a failed and obscure girl with poor English and writing skills and gave her a Blog that would go out all over the world.
The key to finding your purpose is to have a willing heart for Christ and a continued relationship with Him through prayer and scripture. When you desire to be better and give those human failing over to God, He can take them and turn them into an amazing gift that is only made perfect through His molding and love.
Each time he said, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me. - 2 Corinthians 12:9
Not perfect, but purposeful,
Sandy
Monday, January 16, 2012
Starting the Year Out Right
I have a friend who lives on my street, and we love her and her family. Whenever I pass her house, I can't help looking to see what beautiful decorations are adorning her doorway. I have noticed for the past week that she still has her gorgeous Christmas garland and wreaths up on her door. What I have loved about seeing this is that it has been a reminder (to me) that Christmas is not over (ever). A matter of fact, our church still has it's Christmas decorations up because we celebrate what is called Epiphany, which is the twelve days after Christmas.
The term epiphany means "to show" or "to make known" or even "to reveal." In Western churches, it remembers the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit the Christ child, who by so doing "reveal" Jesus to the world as Lord and King.
Christmas is a wonderful time of celebrating God's revelation of His only Son being sent into this world to someday pay for our sins. However, the work God was doing did not grind to a halt the day after Jesus' birth. God did not put everything on hold until Jesus was big enough to walk and talk on God's behalf. God continued His work (and the fulfillment of scripture) during all of the years that Jesus was growing up. God put people in place, nurtured lives of twelve young men that would be Jesus' companions, and put rulers into place that would all lead toward God's master plan 32 years down the road.
The amazing news that I received this week is not the end of chemo, or cancer, or all the other treatment that I do. It is just the beginning. I am blessed that God chose to start my year out with a bang, but now my job is to look ahead at what God might be wanting me to use this reprieve for. God's work is never done! :)
As I reflect on the moments before I went into my test this week, I am humbled by the message that God put before me. When I left last Monday for my ultrasound, I grabbed a CD in the dark. The first song was "It Is Well With My Soul." I turned the radio down after that and prayed that it would be well with my soul if they told me bad news, and it would be well with my soul if the cancer is stable. I prayed that God would always give me that peace of knowing that whatever comes my way, God is at work, and I would be accepting of His will and plan, even if it was not what I would choose.
We have made Christmas into something that it was never intended to be. It causes many people grief, stress, and worry. I am glad the New Year comes on the heals of Christmas. After a month of reflecting on the birth of Christ, it is a reminder than we can go forward with new dreams and hopes and a fresh start. Isn't that the mission of God? He is offering fresh starts, redemption, love, and promise to all who believe.
Everyone can use a fresh start! Making new goals of reading God's Word, or helping on a mission team, or getting plugged into a church to nurture your relationship with our almighty God. These are good ways to start the New Year.
It does not matter what you have done before. God actively gives us a fresh start. We don't even have to wait until January to do it! He is waiting all the time to take you in His arms and love you. Make a goal this year to get to know the one who loves you.
Praising Him,
Sandy
The term epiphany means "to show" or "to make known" or even "to reveal." In Western churches, it remembers the coming of the wise men bringing gifts to visit the Christ child, who by so doing "reveal" Jesus to the world as Lord and King.
Christmas is a wonderful time of celebrating God's revelation of His only Son being sent into this world to someday pay for our sins. However, the work God was doing did not grind to a halt the day after Jesus' birth. God did not put everything on hold until Jesus was big enough to walk and talk on God's behalf. God continued His work (and the fulfillment of scripture) during all of the years that Jesus was growing up. God put people in place, nurtured lives of twelve young men that would be Jesus' companions, and put rulers into place that would all lead toward God's master plan 32 years down the road.
The amazing news that I received this week is not the end of chemo, or cancer, or all the other treatment that I do. It is just the beginning. I am blessed that God chose to start my year out with a bang, but now my job is to look ahead at what God might be wanting me to use this reprieve for. God's work is never done! :)
As I reflect on the moments before I went into my test this week, I am humbled by the message that God put before me. When I left last Monday for my ultrasound, I grabbed a CD in the dark. The first song was "It Is Well With My Soul." I turned the radio down after that and prayed that it would be well with my soul if they told me bad news, and it would be well with my soul if the cancer is stable. I prayed that God would always give me that peace of knowing that whatever comes my way, God is at work, and I would be accepting of His will and plan, even if it was not what I would choose.
We have made Christmas into something that it was never intended to be. It causes many people grief, stress, and worry. I am glad the New Year comes on the heals of Christmas. After a month of reflecting on the birth of Christ, it is a reminder than we can go forward with new dreams and hopes and a fresh start. Isn't that the mission of God? He is offering fresh starts, redemption, love, and promise to all who believe.
Everyone can use a fresh start! Making new goals of reading God's Word, or helping on a mission team, or getting plugged into a church to nurture your relationship with our almighty God. These are good ways to start the New Year.
It does not matter what you have done before. God actively gives us a fresh start. We don't even have to wait until January to do it! He is waiting all the time to take you in His arms and love you. Make a goal this year to get to know the one who loves you.
Praising Him,
Sandy
Monday, January 9, 2012
Answered Prayer
Praise God!
I had my ultrasound this morning, and the technicians could not find any lesions on my liver!!!!! Not one! They looked for almost an hour!
My Oncologist called me before I even made it to my car and was so excited for me. Of course I give God all the glory, but I did suggest that maybe we need some research on the healing effects of See's Candy instead of blueberries.
I will continue on my current chemo drug, which is two pills a day. With metastatic cancer, there always has to be a blocker in place because it is still on my bones.
Thank you all so much for your on-going prayers for me. I believe that prayer is the most powerful blocker of all, and I am certainly blessed with lots of them.
Rejoicing!!
Sandy
I had my ultrasound this morning, and the technicians could not find any lesions on my liver!!!!! Not one! They looked for almost an hour!
My Oncologist called me before I even made it to my car and was so excited for me. Of course I give God all the glory, but I did suggest that maybe we need some research on the healing effects of See's Candy instead of blueberries.
I will continue on my current chemo drug, which is two pills a day. With metastatic cancer, there always has to be a blocker in place because it is still on my bones.
Thank you all so much for your on-going prayers for me. I believe that prayer is the most powerful blocker of all, and I am certainly blessed with lots of them.
Rejoicing!!
Sandy
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Welcome 2012
As you know, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer in April, 2007. I started this Blog to keep family and friends updated on my surgery (for a broken neck), and the treatment that I was starting at the time. Little did I know, when I titled my Blog "Sandy's Journal of Faith," it would be my ministry, and I would be posting weekly for five years.
This journey has seen many valleys, and some very scenic peaks. Through it all God has been faithfully guiding me into what I believe is my purpose through cancer, which is to share God's Word and shed light on His love for all of us. I don't regret a day of it, and I intend to continue to write as long as I am able.
I started this journey in a very dark place. You can certainly relate to the deepest valley of all, it is filled with fear and despair. All of us will find ourselves there at some point in our life. It is the place that (alone) is hard to find your way out of. My Mother gave me a little green book by Dodie Osteen titled "Healed of Cancer", and it gave me encouragement and a vision of how God wanted me respond to my diagnosis. Dodie's courage came from the Word of God, and that is where my courage began to grow.
"If you will put the Word of God in your heart when you don't need it, God will bring it out when you do need it." -John Osteen
My life depends on knowing and claiming God's promises through His Word, and so does yours. I read the Bible daily and do devotions from various sources to encourage me and grow my knowledge of God's Word. The Bible is His direct instructions for living. Nothing about it is old or not useful.
...give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life. Proverbs 4:20-23
I love God's Word, and I look to it for strength. Your soul needs food, like your body. The Bible is the best food out there. Nothing is more satisfying that having a relationship with God, and putting my fears in His hands.
I am starting the year with a test (ultasound) tomorrow to see how the lesion on my liver are doing. Test days are always a little nerve racking. The fear of the unknown is worse than the reality sometimes. It does not matter what the results are, I know that God is bigger than any test, and he can flick those lesions off my liver whenever He wants.
I am so thankful that I can approach all things with the power of Christ Jesus behind me. God is truly my rock and salvation. He is the one I live for, and I hope to shine His light to as many people as possible, for as long as possible.
As I enter into 2012, I know that God has great plans for me. Sometimes He asks me to do things that are uncomfortable or not convenient for me, but He also gives great rewards and deep satisfaction.
Whatever your journey is, I pray it will be filled with the knowledge of God's love in 2012.
Happy New Year,
Sandy
This journey has seen many valleys, and some very scenic peaks. Through it all God has been faithfully guiding me into what I believe is my purpose through cancer, which is to share God's Word and shed light on His love for all of us. I don't regret a day of it, and I intend to continue to write as long as I am able.
I started this journey in a very dark place. You can certainly relate to the deepest valley of all, it is filled with fear and despair. All of us will find ourselves there at some point in our life. It is the place that (alone) is hard to find your way out of. My Mother gave me a little green book by Dodie Osteen titled "Healed of Cancer", and it gave me encouragement and a vision of how God wanted me respond to my diagnosis. Dodie's courage came from the Word of God, and that is where my courage began to grow.
"If you will put the Word of God in your heart when you don't need it, God will bring it out when you do need it." -John Osteen
My life depends on knowing and claiming God's promises through His Word, and so does yours. I read the Bible daily and do devotions from various sources to encourage me and grow my knowledge of God's Word. The Bible is His direct instructions for living. Nothing about it is old or not useful.
...give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life. Proverbs 4:20-23
I love God's Word, and I look to it for strength. Your soul needs food, like your body. The Bible is the best food out there. Nothing is more satisfying that having a relationship with God, and putting my fears in His hands.
I am starting the year with a test (ultasound) tomorrow to see how the lesion on my liver are doing. Test days are always a little nerve racking. The fear of the unknown is worse than the reality sometimes. It does not matter what the results are, I know that God is bigger than any test, and he can flick those lesions off my liver whenever He wants.
I am so thankful that I can approach all things with the power of Christ Jesus behind me. God is truly my rock and salvation. He is the one I live for, and I hope to shine His light to as many people as possible, for as long as possible.
As I enter into 2012, I know that God has great plans for me. Sometimes He asks me to do things that are uncomfortable or not convenient for me, but He also gives great rewards and deep satisfaction.
Whatever your journey is, I pray it will be filled with the knowledge of God's love in 2012.
Happy New Year,
Sandy
Friday, December 30, 2011
Reflections of 2011
As the year 2011 draws to a close, I can't help but reflect back and wonder what I can take away from this year that will help me in 2012. It is easy to label a year good or bad. Some years are definitely harder than others. This was a good year for me personally, but a bad year for some friends and family.
In February, and friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is not a smoker, is a single mom, and had not seen steady work for quite some time. She had just been hired for a job with benefits. Sometimes it is really hard to see God's plan, but she loves God despite the pain, and God has revealed Himself in unexpected ways.
My cousin lost his son this year to drugs and violence. He and his wife raised their two sons with faith and devotion to Jesus, put the boys in a Christian school, and had wonderful family vacations to strengthen their bond. Satan creeped into their son's life under the cloak of friendship, and their oldest son fell away from the family and was lured into a life of feeling good on drugs.
The community of La Verne was hit hard at the end of this year by the tragic death of a young boy who unexpectedly lost his life after having a small bite on his ear got infected and went into his blood stream. We do not know the family well (Rachel was on a soccer team year's ago with the sister), but the reality of how life can change in a second hit us all hard.
Sometimes we wonder where God is and why does He not fix things the way we would like. I can personally say that there have been many times when I have asked that question. We have our human ways of wanting to fix problems or take away pain. There is no easy answer for any of these families. Life has been altered and will never be the same. Yet, God still reveals His love and sorrow for each one of them in intimate and astounding ways. I think if each family was to write about the unexpected ways that they have felt loved by God, we all would be humbled and amazed.
In Women's Bible Study this year, Pastor Betsy gave me a visual that I feel defines what I constantly experience and take away as a lesson for years to come. Betsy was talking about how God's plan is bigger than our own. She referenced an old Star Trek episode (or was it a movie) where Captain Kirk and Spock are playing chess. The chess board is three layers, and when a player makes a move on one level the other levels automatically make moves.
I don't want to give the impression that we are just a game for God, but this image has effected me deeply. To me, it is a visual that life is not always about the one move for us personally; others can be effected by what happens to us and we can be effected by what happens to others. God's purpose is not to make our life easy, and it is not to make our lives miserable. There is a master plan, and we all have a purpose to seek God's love and will no matter what life throws at us. In the midst of pain, God makes a move that effects many people.
I was sick last Christmas, but many people have told me that they don't normally pray, but they prayed for me. My friend with cancer is financially destroyed, but a stranger gave her a gift at Christmas that offered hope to her family, but effected three families in a powerful way. The community comes together in grief, and the ripple effect from that is still resonating in generosity and prayer.
This year had many gifts for me personally. Stable health, great family vacations, and the love of friends and family. But the greatest gifts will be the ones that God intervened in. The deepest joy I have ever felt is the joy that comes from getting a glimpse at the enormous amount of love and attention to detail that God gives when it is least expected. It is in those moments that I see the face of Jesus, and the plan God set into motion for each and every one of use to know His heart.
This coming year brings a big milestone for me. April will mark the fifth year of living with stage 4 cancer. At the time of my diagnosis, to get five good years was considered fortunate. I am thankful that my doctors never accepted that for me, and have navigated my health care to reflect a quality and longevity of life that I am so thankful for. Cancer research continues to make progress and provide many options for my type of metastatic cancer. My family and friends have prayed me to good and stable health, with the belief that God can intervene at any time with complete healing.
It is my deepest prayer that whomever reads this Blog will see God at work and know His love. This Blog often gets passed around to people who are hurting, many times to those who have just been given a devastating diagnosis of cancer. What I want to always be saying in my writings is that there is peace and hope that can be found only through a personal relationship with a God who deeply cares. If you read scripture, you will find that God uses desperate times to His glory. He calls broken people to carry is love. He restores, heals, and comforts.
He is quite simply the greatest love I have ever known.
Sandy
In February, and friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is not a smoker, is a single mom, and had not seen steady work for quite some time. She had just been hired for a job with benefits. Sometimes it is really hard to see God's plan, but she loves God despite the pain, and God has revealed Himself in unexpected ways.
My cousin lost his son this year to drugs and violence. He and his wife raised their two sons with faith and devotion to Jesus, put the boys in a Christian school, and had wonderful family vacations to strengthen their bond. Satan creeped into their son's life under the cloak of friendship, and their oldest son fell away from the family and was lured into a life of feeling good on drugs.
The community of La Verne was hit hard at the end of this year by the tragic death of a young boy who unexpectedly lost his life after having a small bite on his ear got infected and went into his blood stream. We do not know the family well (Rachel was on a soccer team year's ago with the sister), but the reality of how life can change in a second hit us all hard.
Sometimes we wonder where God is and why does He not fix things the way we would like. I can personally say that there have been many times when I have asked that question. We have our human ways of wanting to fix problems or take away pain. There is no easy answer for any of these families. Life has been altered and will never be the same. Yet, God still reveals His love and sorrow for each one of them in intimate and astounding ways. I think if each family was to write about the unexpected ways that they have felt loved by God, we all would be humbled and amazed.
In Women's Bible Study this year, Pastor Betsy gave me a visual that I feel defines what I constantly experience and take away as a lesson for years to come. Betsy was talking about how God's plan is bigger than our own. She referenced an old Star Trek episode (or was it a movie) where Captain Kirk and Spock are playing chess. The chess board is three layers, and when a player makes a move on one level the other levels automatically make moves.
I don't want to give the impression that we are just a game for God, but this image has effected me deeply. To me, it is a visual that life is not always about the one move for us personally; others can be effected by what happens to us and we can be effected by what happens to others. God's purpose is not to make our life easy, and it is not to make our lives miserable. There is a master plan, and we all have a purpose to seek God's love and will no matter what life throws at us. In the midst of pain, God makes a move that effects many people.
I was sick last Christmas, but many people have told me that they don't normally pray, but they prayed for me. My friend with cancer is financially destroyed, but a stranger gave her a gift at Christmas that offered hope to her family, but effected three families in a powerful way. The community comes together in grief, and the ripple effect from that is still resonating in generosity and prayer.
This year had many gifts for me personally. Stable health, great family vacations, and the love of friends and family. But the greatest gifts will be the ones that God intervened in. The deepest joy I have ever felt is the joy that comes from getting a glimpse at the enormous amount of love and attention to detail that God gives when it is least expected. It is in those moments that I see the face of Jesus, and the plan God set into motion for each and every one of use to know His heart.
This coming year brings a big milestone for me. April will mark the fifth year of living with stage 4 cancer. At the time of my diagnosis, to get five good years was considered fortunate. I am thankful that my doctors never accepted that for me, and have navigated my health care to reflect a quality and longevity of life that I am so thankful for. Cancer research continues to make progress and provide many options for my type of metastatic cancer. My family and friends have prayed me to good and stable health, with the belief that God can intervene at any time with complete healing.
It is my deepest prayer that whomever reads this Blog will see God at work and know His love. This Blog often gets passed around to people who are hurting, many times to those who have just been given a devastating diagnosis of cancer. What I want to always be saying in my writings is that there is peace and hope that can be found only through a personal relationship with a God who deeply cares. If you read scripture, you will find that God uses desperate times to His glory. He calls broken people to carry is love. He restores, heals, and comforts.
He is quite simply the greatest love I have ever known.
Sandy
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Seeking the Savior - Max Lucado
Seeking the SaviorSimeon [said], “Can I stay alive until I see him?”The Magi [said], “Saddle up the camels. We aren’t stopping until we find him.” The shepherds [said], “Let’s go…. Let’s see.” They wanted the Savior. They wanted to see Jesus. They were earnest in their search. One translation renders Hebrews 11:6: “God … rewards those who earnestly seek him” (NIV). Another reads: “God rewards those who search for him” (Phillips). And another: “God … rewards those who sincerely look for him” (TLB). I like the King James translation: “He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (italics mine). Diligently—what a great word. Be diligent in your search. Be hungry in your quest, relentless in your pilgrimage. Let this book be but one of dozens you read about Jesus and this hour be but one of hundreds in which you seek him. Step away from the puny pursuits of possessions and positions, and seek your king.  Don’t be satisfied with angels. Don’t be content with stars in the sky. Seek him out as the shepherds did. Long for him as Simeon did. Worship him as the wise men did….Risk whatever it takes to see Christ.God rewards those who seek him. Not those who seek doctrine or religion or systems or creeds. Many settle for these lesser passions, but the reward goes to those who settle for nothing less than Jesus himself. Max Lucado Seeking Jesus is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. Seek him in good times, and bad, good health or poor health. He is there in the middle of anguish, doubt, confusion, and despair. He can make all paths straight. Knowing Christ Jesus is the greatest gift ever given. Seek Him for yourself. Love, Sandy |  |
Sunday, December 18, 2011
The Greatest Gift
When I think of Christmas, I have happy memories growing up. My parents did not have a lot of money, but they always made Christmas morning special. My brother and I would have to wait for my maternal grandparents to arrive with the Winchell's donuts before we could open our gifts. There was not a large stack, but what we did get was fun.
Because we were so connected to our church (Hacienda Heights Baptist), there were choir concerts, and parties that would lead up to Christmas. My family would go on drives to see lights. We had extended family over for dinner. It was all very normal to me, and I thought everyone had the same experience as me.
My children have the same experience as I did. We have lots of family traditions that include baking, seeing lights, dinner with friends, a Bible Study party, and gathering with family. They think this is all normal and everyone has the same experiences.
Sometimes we all need to be reminded that Christmas time is not joyful for some. The loss of a loved ones is felt even more, the stress of a job and finances is heightened, and health issues can feel even more depressing. We all are all traveling through life with encounters that are not always pretty. If you were to travel across the United States, you would go through deserts that leave you thirsty and listless. There would be mountains to cross with windy roads that make you wonder when you will reach the top and start coasting down. There would be some beautiful countrysides that make would make you happy that you continued on your trip.
This Christmas I keep thinking of the journey of Mary and Joseph and how it relates to our personal journeys. Pastor Jim has been preaching an outstanding series called "On the Road", which has looked at the characters in the story of Jesus. Jim has addressed what the road looked like for the Magi, King Herod, the Shepherds, and (of course) Mary and Joseph. We have these pretty Christmas traditions, and joyful songs, but the reality is that the journey they were on (over two thousand years ago) was not picture perfect, fun, and comfortable. Yet, the Bible says, "Mary treasured these things in her heart." She knew deep down that God was orchestrating something special, and she was willing to set aside her comfort to follow God's will.
Are we willing to set aside our dreams and desires to follow Jesus? He never promises a scenic road, yet somehow when you are in the desert, or on the windy mountain road, you see His workings and it is beautiful. God gives new dreams and desires, and they are always more amazing that what our feeble minds could have thought up. His way is not always comfortable, but it is meaningful and purposeful. Pastor Jim asked us today who interrupted who. Perhaps we were the ones that interrupted God's plans. God is the great architect, and we need to set aside our sub-contractor blueprints for God's master plan.
As you unwrap gifts, and spend time with those you love the most, it is my wish that you remember the greatest gift came into the world to give you life eternal with God. I hope that you can get a glimpse of the master plan for your life as you ponder the amazing birth of Christ Jesus.
Merry Christmas,
Sandy
Because we were so connected to our church (Hacienda Heights Baptist), there were choir concerts, and parties that would lead up to Christmas. My family would go on drives to see lights. We had extended family over for dinner. It was all very normal to me, and I thought everyone had the same experience as me.
My children have the same experience as I did. We have lots of family traditions that include baking, seeing lights, dinner with friends, a Bible Study party, and gathering with family. They think this is all normal and everyone has the same experiences.
Sometimes we all need to be reminded that Christmas time is not joyful for some. The loss of a loved ones is felt even more, the stress of a job and finances is heightened, and health issues can feel even more depressing. We all are all traveling through life with encounters that are not always pretty. If you were to travel across the United States, you would go through deserts that leave you thirsty and listless. There would be mountains to cross with windy roads that make you wonder when you will reach the top and start coasting down. There would be some beautiful countrysides that make would make you happy that you continued on your trip.
This Christmas I keep thinking of the journey of Mary and Joseph and how it relates to our personal journeys. Pastor Jim has been preaching an outstanding series called "On the Road", which has looked at the characters in the story of Jesus. Jim has addressed what the road looked like for the Magi, King Herod, the Shepherds, and (of course) Mary and Joseph. We have these pretty Christmas traditions, and joyful songs, but the reality is that the journey they were on (over two thousand years ago) was not picture perfect, fun, and comfortable. Yet, the Bible says, "Mary treasured these things in her heart." She knew deep down that God was orchestrating something special, and she was willing to set aside her comfort to follow God's will.
Are we willing to set aside our dreams and desires to follow Jesus? He never promises a scenic road, yet somehow when you are in the desert, or on the windy mountain road, you see His workings and it is beautiful. God gives new dreams and desires, and they are always more amazing that what our feeble minds could have thought up. His way is not always comfortable, but it is meaningful and purposeful. Pastor Jim asked us today who interrupted who. Perhaps we were the ones that interrupted God's plans. God is the great architect, and we need to set aside our sub-contractor blueprints for God's master plan.
As you unwrap gifts, and spend time with those you love the most, it is my wish that you remember the greatest gift came into the world to give you life eternal with God. I hope that you can get a glimpse of the master plan for your life as you ponder the amazing birth of Christ Jesus.
Merry Christmas,
Sandy
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