Sandy's Journey of Faith: Great Faith

Sunday, September 2, 2007

Great Faith

This week I finished a book called "Into the Deep" written by Robert Rogers with Stan Finger. It is the story of Robert's family who was swept away by a strong current during a flash flood on August 30,2003. Robert lost his wife and four children that day, which is a pain that would be beyond anything I could imagine.

I read this book because it was promoted by Focus on the Family, and the book was described as a story of unwavering faith. I remember watching this story on the news when it happened and being amazed and touched by this man's faith.

This book is beautifully written, but deeply emotional. Robert walks the reader through the most intimate and painful moments of his life as he has to identify and say good-bye to his entire family. This book gives you insight into the faith and love that this entire family had for Christ. They were faithful believers and even prayed down to the second before they were all swept away. How could God do that? Where was He that night? Why would He allow a family devoted to Him be torn apart. Why would He spare one?

Robert cries out to God with all of these questions. Then He feels God's great love and compassion and Robert decides to trust God minute by minute at first, then hour by hour. Robert writes, "...during all sorts of trials we turned to God rather than away from God. In those times of deepest pain, we grew to know and receive God's deepest presence. When we trusted Him during those times that didn't make sense, God revealed His deepest and most intimate loving nature."

From this tragedy, Robert was called to leave his job and form "Mighty in the Land Ministry. Robert shares his testimony of "no regrets" all over the world. He encourages families to not live with regrets. Let those around you know that you love them. Live life to the fullest because none of us are guaranteed a tomorrow.

I was especially touched by the last chapter called "God is Still Good". Robert writes:

"I have learned that nothing can ever separate me from God's love. I know that even if everything that happens to me isn't good, God can still bring good out of everything...I don't understand fully how God's sovereignty and our free will blend together, and I never will until I get to heaven. But I do believe that our pain is sacred and that God has somehow ordained my suffering as something to shape me and transform me more into His image. Every ounce of suffering has a purpose that God can use for good, if we only let Him."

Some people have asked Jon and I how we can get through our trial with such faith. It has been a choice on our part to not give in to doubt and fear, but to live knowing that God is on our side and will use all things to His glory. It is through the scriptures and prayer that we can trust in Him.

This coming Tuesday I meet with the Orthopedic doctor to review some test that I took this last Friday of my pelvic area. I have not had pain in that area since end of June, however, the initial tests from April show some heavy damage in that area. If it were not for the very low residual pain in my neck, I would think I am completely healthy. I am back to my original weight. My energy level is good. I definitely do not have any indications of a brain tumor (that test will be on 9/10). I am not sure where medical technology ends and God's healing takes over, but I believe it will be revealed some day.

Meanwhile, I am blessed that I can share the last few days of summer with my girls. They start school on Wednesday. Rachel will start Ramona Middle School and Michelle starts 2nd grade. It has been a very different summer for us. The other day Michelle said, "Mommy, except for your cancer, it has been a good summer." I have a lot of friends to thank for helping make the summer enjoyable for my girls while I did radiation. I think we made each day count!

I will let you know how Tuesday goes!
Love,
Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.