Sandy's Journey of Faith: Welcoming the New Year

Thursday, January 3, 2008

Welcoming the New Year

Happy New Year to everyone! We hope you have been having a wonderful holiday with family and friends. The Boulware family has been busy this past week. After Christmas, we took our motorhome to San Diego for five days. We had a relaxing time, and enjoyed the simple things like playing games, going for walks, and the Wild Animal Park with my Mom, Aaron, and nephew Kyler.

When we returned on the 31st, we quickly prepared for our New Year Party that evening. Jon and I had agreed many months ago that we wanted to say goodbye to 2007 with the tight group of friends that were with us a year ago (and the addition of the Lowries). Last year we were excited, not knowing that it would be one of the toughest years of our life. Every friend that was in our home has lifted us up before God this year, and actively supported us by making meals, driving me to radiation, helping with kids... We have an amazing support group.

Unfortunately, we could not celebrate the new year with every person that has helped us ride the waves of 2007. So, let me say now that we are deeply thankful for each one of you who helped our family. Our precious Bible Study Group and Glenkirk Church, neighbors old and new, the Oak Mesa School community, Allstate friends, Jon's staff, Hacienda Heights Baptist Church, my Brownie Troop, and of course family. If you don't fit into any of those groups, we know who you are and are grateful for your prayers. We are constantly amazed at how our story has spread and how people we don't know are praying for us. We will still need those prayers in 2008.

I used to wish people a happy and healthy new year, but my wishes are different now. Health, happiness, and prosperity are what we all want, but without faith, hope and love they are meaningless. I started 2007 with high hopes and goals of exercise and eating right. I thought we would travel, entertain in our new home, and have fun. Life interrupted all those plans. I am sure I am not the only one that started the year with hopes and dreams that did not come true. The saying "that's life" is true, because stuff happens and God never promised us an easy life. What I did find through it all was a deeper understanding of what role faith and hope plays in the midst of a trial, and that when our eyes are on God we can rest in the knowledge that He is in control. Faith and hope brought me joy in a different way. God did not take away the pain and suffering, and He did not heal (yet), but I felt His presence and I was able to find peace in the midst of it all.

I am hopeful and excited for 2008. I can't wait to see what God has in store for the new year and His plans for me. I hope you too can look ahead with fresh eyes and a renewed trust in God's plan for you. He knows the number of hairs on our head!! Surely He knows our hopes and dreams and has a plan for each of us. It does take a little effort from us though. I plan on reading through the Bible and getting a little dose of Psalms or Proverbs each day. Reading God's word is how he communicates to us. My Proverbs for today was a good one. Verse 32 & 33 says:

For the waywardness of the simple will kill them, and the complacency of fools will destroy them; but whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm.

None of us knows what 2008 will bring. My wish for you is that whatever it is, you will face it with deep faith, great hope, and the power of love.

With all my love,
Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.