I posted about running the race. My friend ran the race for Christ, and on August 7th she crossed the finish line into the arms of her Savior, Jesus. It has been a tough race. She stumbled along the way, and she faced some elements that threatened to sideline her. She ran through some dark valleys and wondered if she would have the strength to keep going up the steep hills, but Jesus ran beside her and helped her through. There were some beautiful views from the top. Her children were a mountain top high for her. Through it all she had faith, and hope, because of God's promises.
We are all still getting a grip on her loss, and the future. In the first 24 hours after my friend's death, I could not help but ask God why His timing was so bad. My earthly perspective told me that losing a parent two weeks before school starts was really lousy. Losing a parent is never good timing, but this had a lot of repercussions that had heads swimming.
I don't know why I don't learn my lesson, but God constantly has to reteach me that His timing is perfect, and my ways are not His ways. Through the cry of my own heart, God responded in a loving and generous way by revealing some reasons why His timing was actually for the best. It does not take away the pain of loss for her children, and they may never fully understand why their mother had to go, but I have seen God intimately involved in their situation, and I know He has a plan.
I can't help thinking about another family in our community who lost their young son in December of last year. I get glimpses of the pain that mother is going through, and the rest of the family. Even if God audibly told them His plan and reason for taking their son so early, it would not help with the grief they feel in not having him here. As school starts up again, I know their family is struggling with their sorrow. Is there a greater pain than a loss of a child?
The bottom line is that we all live with that dash between our birth year and our death. That dash is our actual life, and hopefully we are living our dash with purpose. All our dashes crisscross over each other, and together we make a masterpiece that only God can see at this moment.
Most of the time it is all over my head, and I have to just trust that God is good. He does not steal mothers and sons for folly. It is not a game. He really does work with purpose, and he uses this fallen world for His glory. He is not the author of cancer, but his uses it to inspire and bring people closer to Him. God's bottom line is that He wants to be a part of our daily lives. He wants to be in those conversations in your head. He wants to display His love, power, and authority on this earth.
I need God. I need to know someone is in charge and can someday make sense of the pains of this earth. I desire to be wrapped in that warm blanket of God's faithfulness and love. I need a Savior. I am a failed person who could never accomplish a perfect life so that I could be in God's presence. Thankfully, Jesus paid the price for me on the cross. Without his cleansing, I would never be clean before a perfect God.
I said goodbye to a friend, but I know it is not forever. There will be a day when we will see each other again in a place that has no more pain or sorrow. The word "Cancer" will not be part of our vocabulary because there will be no such thing.
For me, there is still work to be done...
Sandy
Emily & Michelle
