It was April 19, 2007 and I got a call from Dr. Woodward's office that he wanted to see Jon and I. We were having dinner that night with Jon's Godfather, who was in town, and I told the receptionist that maybe it would be better if we came in the morning. She said, "The Doctor will wait for you for as long as it takes."
The dip in our stomach's could not even begin to compare to the reality of hearing the words, "There is something seriously wrong, and I think you have metastatic breast cancer." Dr. Woodward was correct in his statement, and it was through him that I was able to get into City of Hope three weeks later.
Have you ever had gut wrenching news? The phone rings in the middle of the night, or someone tells you to sit down because they have something to say. Our girls are still traumatized from us sharing the news. When we say, "I need to talk to you" they go back to that moment. It is like all your faculties shut down and you are listening to the news through a bubble. It would be hard to explain if you have not experienced something like it yourself.
When I am sharing my testimony about that day, and the day following, I always break down when I get to the part about God having it all worked out. He had an envelope already sitting on my kitchen counter with his instructions for me. It really gets me every time. The thought that God, the maker of the universe, the great "I Am", my creator and King, sent me a instructions for the days to come. It was a Sunday School lesson titled "God is at His Best When Life is at its Worst." The verses for that less on were promises that bvgall things would work according to HIS purpose (Romans 8:28), and that He would never leave me through the process and beyond (Hebrews 13:5).
Me! Why Me? What have I ever done to make God think I could handle this? I am a broken vase, a flawed person who is not eloquent, who makes a zillion mistakes, and who does not have a good command of the English language to even pretend to be anything other than myself when writing!
I still stand in awe. I am still humbled. I am empowered by Him. When He spoke to me in those early hours, I told Him I did not want to disappoint Him. He told me that He had been preparing me my entire life for this moment.
A couple of years before April 19, 2007, I sat at my kitchen table and read a little book called "The Prayer of Jabez" by Bruce Wilkinson. You find it in 1 Chronicles 4:9, and it says:
"Jabez called on the God of saying, "Oh that You would bless be indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain."
It is a simple book, and a simple prayer. I prayed it, and I meant it. I wanted to do something powerful for Christ in my lifetime. I wanted to honor the God who created me with my life. I could not imagine how. I did not feel like I had anything great to offer. I prayed the prayer many times and then, quite frankly, I kind of forgot I had prayed it.
Fast forward to 2007. Cancer? A Blog? What are you thinking God? I did not ask for this! But I heard His voice as sure as if He were standing in person in front of me, "Sandy, will go for me?" and I responded, "Yes."
It was the most powerful time of my life. I could not foresee the future. I took one day at a time. Sometimes it was second by second, minute by minute. Fear and anxiety turned into hope. I have seen mountains moved. I have seen lives changed. I have had the platform to share what I have held up inside of me my entire life.
I am truly blessed. I would not trade this journey for anything. I am grateful to have a loving husband who walks the road with me. Jon's love and encouragement is a big part of me being able to have the security and strength to be open to all possibilities for my future. My two girls are beautiful reminders as to why I fight through radiation, chemo, surgeries, and endless hours at City of Hope. My parents stand beside me strong and loving. I have the best friends in the world!
Today I celebrate three years of survival! When I started this journey, three years was not a guarantee. But, I put my trust in my Savior and Lord, and He has provided in amazing ways.
Thank you to all who are reading this Blog. Your prayers have carried our family to the feet of God. We could not have made it this far without all of you. God gave us this Blog to share our faith, but He also gave it to us to receive hope and love from you!
Last week I prayed the prayer again! Lord, enlarge my territory and bless me indeed! I am excited to see what He has in store for the many years ahead!!
Love to All,
Sandy
