Sandy's Journey of Faith: My Year of Gifts

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

My Year of Gifts

This past Sunday, Pastor Jim talked about the only gift that truly satisfies the soul. It can't be found under a tree. No matter how big and shiny a gift is, it can't last forever like the gift of salvation. Through my relationship with God, I was the recipient of some pretty amazing gifts this year. Here are some highlights:

My most precious gift that God gave me is my family. I love watching my girls grow into beautiful young women. Nothing beats being a Mom. What a privilege to be a part of their joys and triumphs. Michelle went all the way to State with her essay titled "Find a Cure." Rachel wrote a beautiful note to me on this Blog, and is all heart. I also have a supportive and thoughtful husband. I know that God prepared us both for this journey, and I would not be as strong without Jon.

One of the great gifts that God gave us this year was our Disney Cruise. I truly believe that God planned our vacation. He gifted us with quality time and amazing memories so that we could be strong when we got back to the reality of cancer that wants to grow and attack internal organs. Some people would scoff at the idea that God takes care of details like vacations. My God likes to give extravagant gifts.

Another amazing gift this year was from some compassionate women at Glenkirk, who secretly arranged for me to go to Hollywood and pick out a beautiful wig. These women gave me dignity and confidence with my new hair doo. I also think about my circle of friends who went with me to have my hair cut and then made it a night out at Marie Calendars. Only my friends would pick pie over alcohol!

I have been gifted with amazing friends. God just keeps bringing them to me. This year I have solidified some friendships that would not have grown had it not been for their deep desire to help my family and carry us through this rough spot. I am never alone when I go to City of Hope. I have a huge circle of women who have insisted that I am not alone when getting chemo. I could easily drive, but it would not be half the fun than being with a loving friend. We also get a meal once a week. My friend Carol-Lee says we have enough on the list to last us until March!

Nurse friends are also on my list of gifts received. Lori Hollar is amazing to come three days a week to my house and administer a shot. I really love that woman. I also have back up nurse friends, like Chris Jackson, that are willing to give of their time and talent, even during the holidays.

A stand out gift this year will be the "Hope Boutique." Have you ever had something pictured in your head and then you are simply blown out of the water by the extravagance? I am still warm all over from the amazing love and support that was gifted to my family. Tami and Jeff Moran opened their home to benefit City of Hope and together, with other amazing people, they raised about $2,000! They gave me a gift that will stay in my heart forever.

The gifts under my Christmas tree will be special because they are picked out with love by my daughters and husband, but they are not even close to the amazing gift that God provided on that ordinary night long ago. Christmas changed everything. Because of God's gift, I can walk with hope. Jesus came humbly, lived simply, and gave the extravagant gift of salvation.

I hope you have enjoyed this beautiful Christmas season!
Merry Christmas,
Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.