I am writing this under protest! I know God wants to use an embarrassing moment of mine, because He keeps harping on me. I would have rather just let the whole incident go with just the apology to the person I inflicted with my words (and she forgave me). However, the subject keeps coming up as I am reading through the Bible in a year. This week I am reading the great story of Moses. God speaks to Moses for the first time and tells him that he wants him to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. Here is Moses response:
"O Lord, I am not eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue."
I am not eloquent in speech, and I am too quick with my tongue. A couple of weeks ago, I was in a public setting and something ridiculous came off my tongue about a school contest because I did not think about how it would sound before I spoke. It was not premeditated, in fact, most of my embarrassing moments come from me not meditating more on what I am about to say. Here is what Proverbs has to say about that:
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
This is all a reminder to me that when left to me own accord, I will continue to fail. I am human, and this is one of my biggest faults. On the other hand this is also a reminder to me of who is in charge of this Blog and who does the writing. I think it is gloriously wonderful how God gave me a ministry that had to do with writing, because I can think long and hard before I push that "publish post" button. Now I know that my spelling (my spell check lights up like a Christmas tree), and my punctuation (don't laugh Vicki), can be a little unconventional, but the words are definitely from God who often prompts me to write. Having said that, I need to NOT have any pride at all in what this Blog is doing or how it is touching others. I too stand amazed at God's use of modern day technology to get His message across.
The message here is that God can use anybody!!!!! He used me! If you have known me for a long time, you were probably just as shocked as me that God would have confidence in me to be able to handle the valley that was so dark that only He could have brought light to it. God likes to use ordinary people with all their faults because His power is made perfect in our weakness. (2 Cor. 12:9)
If you have been disappointed by someone lately remember, We have a God that does not disappoint! He is the only person we can truly rely on. I am not disappointed at all with what God has done in my life. I have had to let go of some ideas I had for my future, but God has filled me with new thoughts and a great amount of hope.
Dear God, thank you that you can use a failed person like me to be a witness to your amazing grace and love. I know I would be completely lost without you. Help me each day to choose my words wisely and to be a light for you. I really do give you all the credit for anything good that comes out of me. I love you!
Sandy
P.S. The tumor in my breast has shrunk more! I will not get the results of my other tests until next Tuesday.
