Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Looking Forward With Hope, and Standing on God's Promises

No, this picture is not of Samuel Adams Beer. It is the fluid that was taken out of the lining of my lung over a week ago! Crazy! I was having trouble catching a good breath, and so an x-ray was done and they saw the fluid. The City of Hope doctors jumped right on it and did a procedure right in the office to remove the fluid. No wonder I could not sleep flat!

Now that I am breathing much better, I have been working with my doctors to take care of pain issues and other test results that have brought things to light. The MRI showed that the metastasis in my shoulder has increased dramatically, which is why the pain is so intense in that area. A CT Scan showed an increase of lesions in the liver. The fluid that was taken from my lung is from my lymph nodes. So, there is much to pray about.

Today I start a new chemotherapy and I feel really hopeful that it will shrink liver lesions and lymph nodes. It should also help shrink the tumors in my shoulder and give me some relief. The chemo I was on did a lot of good for me for about five months, but now it is time to move on. My options are few, so I need lots of prayer support that this treatment will give good results, and for a long time.

I want to say that the peace that only comes from faith and hope in Jesus is sustaining me now. I am not walking around in fear or anxiety. I know that God is at work day and night on my behalf. I am reminded over and over of His purpose in my suffering. When I was diagnosed, God gave me two verses right away, AND A MOTTO, and I stand on these promises.

And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Rom. 8:28

“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you,” So we say with confidence, the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid, what can man do to me? Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today and forever. Heb. 13:5,8.

God is at His best when life is at its worst
(From a Sunday School Lesson I taught three days after being diagnosed)

Every morning I have time with my Savior, Healer and Redeemer. I pray these promises and more. God is not silent. The Bible is not outdated. There are hundreds of verses in the Word of God that tell of God's power to do more than we can imagine. These verses are for us to claim!

Here are some more verses that I love and put my hope in:

“If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can move mountains (cancer/anxiety). Nothing will be impossible for you.” Matthew 17:20

“If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” Matthew 21:22

“Daughter, your faith has healed you, go in peace and be freed from your suffering.” Mark 5:27-34.

“I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, “go, throw yourself into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore, I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.” Mark 11:23-34.

“Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever, Amen.” Eph. 3:20

Find rest, oh my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. Psalms 62:5-7

Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:4-7.

These verses are for any situation you are facing! discouragement, broken relationships, loss of income, grief... We have a God who loves us and wants to grow our relationship with Him. All of these verses confirm that a personal relationship with Him has huge benefits. If you are walking in step with Jesus, then these verses really come to life and become promises you can count on.

I am not living in fear, but with great hope that the new chemo will provide great results in reducing my current pain. More importantly, I am confident that Jesus will do immeasurably more than any of us can imagine by restoring my health through healing.

Thank you for your prayers!

Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.