However, I can't completely write off this summer as being the worst ever. There have been gifts along the way. Chinle will be the biggest gift of the summer, and yet a time when the pain was intense. When you go on a mission trip and open your heart to new people and a different culture, you end up feeling as if you were given a gift bigger than the one you thought you were giving.
This summer has also been a time of having deep and meaningful conversations with people because of my pain. Using my weakness and suffering to encourage others, which we are called to do in 1 Corinthians 1:3-6, has lifted my spirits and made me see beyond my pain to the greater purpose God has for me. I have a neighbor and friend who came to know Jesus this summer. One of the great highlights for me. We have shared suffering, yet we are now sisters in Christ. What a joy!
In addition to those gifts, I also had quality time with some precious friends as they drove me to chemo. Valerie, Margo and Therese were three angels that never let me be alone. Valerie and her girls, took me and my girls wig shopping. It was a day of great joy and laughter. Our girls have grown up together, and we sang Cheetah Girl songs and laughed hard while trying on wigs. Now I have a wig on stand by if I lose my hair. So far that prayer has been answered. I may use the wig anyway on the days I don't feel like doing my own hair.
I don't want to forget thanking my precious family for their care. My mother, father, and step-mother and step-father shower me with love and help me along the way. I have also had some good times traveling with Jon and the girls, and just having the girls at home for the summer is so cherished. I will miss then when they go back to school next week.
Another huge gift is one of clarity. I saw my Oncologist last week and we discussed the latest results of my PET Scan. When I received the original news of the PET, it was read off by an assistant. My Oncologist pulled the scan up on the screen and we discussed in detail. I asked her if I now have cancer that has metastasized to my lung. She said absolutely not! She explained that they have been watching a spot on my lung all along that has never changed. The fluid that was mentioned in the report is between my lung and a lining. I do not have cancer on my lung. The fluid is of some concern because the cancer, in my lymph nodes that is between my lungs, is causing this back-up. The hope is that the new chemo will shrink these lesions and that my body will absorb the fluid.
Needless to say, that was a load of bricks taken off my back!!!!!!!!!
The success of this chemo will be known in 12 weeks. Pray that all lesions that have increased on bones, liver, and lymph nodes will shrink down to nothing. I am confident that God will also display His power of healing during this time. I am at peace.
My biggest prayer is that the shingles will make it's way out of my system and relieve me of the daily pain I experience. It has been my biggest challenge this summer.
I end with a song that we sang during worship this past Sunday.
My Hope is Built on Nothing Less" by Edward Mote, 1797-1874
1. My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus' name.
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
2. When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale
My anchor holds within the veil.
3. His oath, His covenant, and blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When every earthly prop gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
4. When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found,
Clothed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne!
On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
You can download this more contemporary version called Cornerstone by Hillside
