As I approach my five year mark of being diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer, I was given great news. I went to see my Orthopedic Specialist at City of Hope. Dr. Femino has helped me through some tough times. I was sent to him because of the pain I was suffering in the beginning of my diagnosis, and he helped me get to where I am today of being pain free. Dr. Femino compared an x-ray conducted that morning to some x-rays two years ago. The metastasis on the bone does not look any different! He turned to me and said, "I think you have better things to do than spend your time seeing me."
It is exhilarating to be in the hands of God!! He is directing my path and taking care of the things that are beyond my control. God has brought great medical specialists into my life, and new technology that helps keep me physically going. More than anything, I credit God for providing joy and peace that allows the medications to flow freely and do what they are suppose to do. It has been through my submission and confidence in Him that I have been able to soar like an eagle.
"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
There were times when I wondered how I would soar again. Life was not at all what I envisioned and instead was full of fear and pain. Maybe you are there now; a time in your life when you feel grounded with turmoil. You might be crying out for relief from the pain, and feel that God is silent. The following words are from a book called Worth the Wait by Vicki Quirarte (who happens to be a childhood friend of mine). She sent me her book after I was first diagnosed, and as I read it, the words planted a seed for me on what life could be like if I continued to trust in Jesus and submit to His will for me. Now I read these words (years later) with the knowledge that every word is true, and that God's promise of giving strength during the depths of despair can truly make you feel like you are soaring like an eagle!
"This soaring is all about:
-Self-sacrifice
-Surrender
-Submission
"It's all about soaring for God's glory - alone! And this kind of soaring is the only thing that leads to:
-Contentment
-Peace
-Joy
"The one question that should enter the minds of each one of us is why the King of Glory would desire us to soar with renewed strength, to run and not grow weary, and walk without fainting? There is only one multi-faceted answer to that. The Lord loves you with an everlasting love. Jesus loves you so much that He has a plan to prosper not harm you. He loves you and chose you to be His before time, as we know it, began. He loves you and gave you His spirit to live within you, to comfort, guide, and empower you to do and be all that He has designed for you.
"The Lord of lords and King of kings loves you! And it is through the incredible power of His love that we can endure the Wait! And in the midst of your Wait, you will hear Him gently whisper in your ear, "You are worth Waiting for." God reveals Himself to be the Everlasting, and Almighty One. It is as that truth enters into our soul that waiting on God will become bearable because He is a God most worthy to be waited upon!" -Vicki Quirarte
I was really impatient for God's healing and plan for my life in the beginning of my journey of faith. However, now I see the great works that God wanted to do through my cancer, and the joy I feel has been the result of waiting on Him and setting aside my agenda for Him (yeah, I told Him what to do if you can imagine that). Thankfully, He did not listen to my chatter. He told me to wait...
Waiting is never easy, but God is worth the wait!
Sandy
