Sandy's Journey of Faith: Is My Sin Too Great?

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Is My Sin Too Great?

I often wonder what it is that keeps people from coming to Jesus. It is no secret, through my writings, that the greatest love of my life is Jesus. Some might be surprised at that statement because they know my husband, and they would assume that Jon is the greatest love of my life. The beauty of knowing Jesus, loving Him fully, and having a husband that loves Jesus fully, gives me the freedom to say that Jon is the love of my romantic life on earth, but Jesus offers pure love. I am a sinner, and I need the restoration that only Jesus can give through His grace, mercy and love.

For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. Romans 7:18

I think that one of the ways Satan keeps people away from a relationship with God, and His Son, is by heaping a lot of guilt on them. We are all sinners. You may say, "Sandy, you don't even know the half of what I have done. How could I ever go before God with my sin?" Here is the good news about that, God loves you already. God loves you despite the sin. God sent his Son to pay for your sin. If He was unwilling to forgive, He would not go to such great lengths to display His love and have his Son pay for your debt in Hell. That is right, Jesus went to hell and back for you in those three days in the grave. He opened up the shackles of sin and provided a way to His Father for all who trust in Him.

⁵ This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. ⁶ If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. ⁷ But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from allsin.
⁸ If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. ⁹ If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. ¹⁰ If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us. 1John 1:5-10

Are you carrying guilt? You need only to search your heart, talk to God, and ask for forgiveness. It seems too simple, right? It is only as hard as being completely open and honest with yourself (God knows what you feel guilty about without you talking). Here are the three steps to lifting the burden of past sins and having a relationship with Jesus.

Confession: Admit what you did. Everyone makes mistakes. Big ones, small ones...sin is all the same to God. Some people don't want to admit they they did something wrong. Don't try to justify yourself. You may have to apologize to someone you have hurt due to your sin. Don't say you can't do that. You can, and you will be amazed at the lightness that will come upon you. Even if they don't forgive you, you can move on knowing you did the right thing before God. Confession cleanses you and releases you from some very heavy burdens, which then paves the way for God's total forgiveness.

Repentance: Not only do you confess, but you should be deeply sorry for your sinful behavior and have no intention of doing it again. True confession means you don't want to disappoint God, or yourself, again.

Forgiveness: God's forgiveness comes the very moment we ask for it. You need to ask forgiveness, and then forgive yourself. You are a new creation! He wants everyone to live free of guilt and shame! He is the restoration you have been looking for.

Do not ever let Satan deceive you into thinking you are not worthy of talking to God. It is the greatest lie. God's promises of love and forgiveness are for everyone!

Lord, I confess my sins to you, knowing full well that you already saw them. Thank you for your promise of forgiveness and cleansing. If there is sin in my life that I am not seeing, reveal it to me. I want to live in the wholeness of your love and forgiveness. Shine your light on me and take away the dark corners of my life. Thank you for paying for my sins so I can approach you with my debt already paid. Amen.

Step out into the light!
Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.