It is actually hard to imagine now, but from the time I was diagnosed on April 19th until May 30th, I was in the process of doctor's appointments and tests with not a whole lot to do but wait. It took 6 weeks of pain before I had surgery to have a cage of rods and bolts put into my broken neck. Four years later, I am so deeply thankful that my neck is functional and without pain. A matter of fact, I have so much hardware in my neck, my neurosurgeon told me I could ride the most craziest roller coaster there is and not worry about my neck (it is the rest of my old body that I would worry about).
As I am reading through Psalms, I came across a verse that always reminds me of my time in the hospital.
On my bed I remember you; I think of you through the watches of the night. Because you are my help, I sing in the shadow of your wings. My soul clings to you; your right hand upholds me. Psalm 63:6-8.
Being in the hospital five days was one of the hardest things I had ever done (at that time). The most I had been in the hospital was overnight for the birth of my daughters. If you have ever had to be overnight in a hospital, they check you constantly, there is talking in the halls at all hours, and it is never quite dark.
I would get woken up at 2 a.m. for a check on my vitals and not be able to get back to sleep. I had just received an Ipod, and so I would turn on some praise music and just sing (quietly) and commune with God. He was there with me in those dark hours of loneliness, fear, and pain. I would "Praise Him in the Storm" (love that song), and I felt His presence and peace.
I hope this is a reminder to anyone who wakes up with anxiety or sadness in the dark hours of the night that God is right there with you. He never sleeps, and is a great companion who offers comfort, peace, and protection. Sometimes I would lay my hand out on the bed and just visualize Jesus holding my hand. It is a beautiful gift to have a friend that does not mind the night watch. In fact, I look back now with some fondness for those midnight praise sessions when it was just me and Him. Powerful stuff.
Sandy
