Sandy's Journey of Faith: Feeling Very Optimistic!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Feeling Very Optimistic!

My Oncologist was very gracious in calling me at home today to give me the results of my CT Scan, and saving Jon and I a trip in to see her tomorrow. She told me that there is significant improvement seen on the CT Scan. There are still some lesions, but the fact that they can see any improvement in only 3 weeks, is highly unusual because the white cells normally need more time to clear out the dead cells. She was very optimistic, and wanted to have me take a very low dosage of the same chemo, Xeloda, and see how I do.

She told me that I had the worst reaction to Xeloda she has ever seen. If I feel any kind of reaction to the low dosage, she wants me to stop taking it. I am going to start the medication tonight, so keep me in prayer that I tolerate this medication well. You all know I can't handle nausea and the inability to eat an In-N-Out burger!!!

Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives. Do not let your heart be troubled, and do not be afraid. John 14:27

I have been thinking a lot about what I went through, and I have a real peace about the future and how God is at work. Although I don't have all of the answers, God has been gracious to give me a few glimpses into what He is working on. For one, it really drew me closer to Him, and made the season of Christmas more simple and much more meaningful. Not only did I thank Him profusely for helping me get through such a hard illness, I also thanked Him for the complete peace that He gifted me with. I really felt that when I called on Him in the darkest moment, He came through with a sign that He was with me and working things out on my behalf.

The other gift I got for Christmas was the postings and reports from friends on how the news impacted people and caused such a outpouring of love and prayers. I have been so confident in the number of people praying for me and my family, that I was really not surprised today when the doctor gave me such an encouraging message. I have outstanding medical care, and I have a God that can work anything out. That is a really good recipe for peace and hope about my future.

As I say goodbye to 2010, I reflect back on an amazing year. I had started the year going weekly to City of Hope for chemo, and in March seeing the lesions vanish. I have been told that I am in the 5% of people that the chemo would effect that quickly, which confirms to me again that it was God's timing. I decided to go off the chemo and enjoy my summer with my family. What a gift that was. We had a wonderful trip to New York and a great motor home trip. The news of the cancer returning to my liver was quite a blow on November 30Th, but here I sit with very encouraging news, and a new appreciation for God and His timing.

It is my fervent prayer that those who read my Blog will seek a deeper relationship with God in 2011. He is the one worth getting to know. The benefits of having a relationship with God is astounding. God gives me unmeasurable joy in the midst of adversity. The feeling of being part of His plan is humbling and exciting. My prayer for myself is that I will continue to keep God in the drivers seat and be ready for whatever comes my way. It is still a great "Journey of Faith."

God Bless,
Sandy

The Salvation Prayer

This prayer is an example of what to say to Jesus when you want Him to come into your heart. It is a humble statement between you and God that recognizes that we all fall short of being good enough to face God on our own. Jesus had to pay the price for our sins so we could come before God pure and blameless. You don't need to clean up your life before you pray this prayer. Jesus will come in and help you draw close to him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

My Journey (Revised 07/12/13)

Romans 8:28 says that in everything, God works for the good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

This is often a tough verse to swallow. We see our life falling down around us due to finances, broken relationships, or disease, and it becomes difficult to trust that God can work through these trials if we look for His purpose and trust in Him. There are times when it seems impossible for God to work anything for the good because things are so bad.

I was diagnosed with cancer in April 2007 when I had a stiff neck that would not go away. For four months I tried chiropractic care, massages, and stretching to try and loosen the knots that were all over my neck and down into my upper back. The stiff neck made sense to me because we had moved into a new house and I thought I had strained something.

Four months later I could not stand the pain any longer. I went back to my trusted chiropractor and he sent me to have an MRI. It was through that test that he saw something horribly wrong. My C5 vertebrae was gone, and my neck had collapsed! He called my husband and I into his office and told us the news that would change our life. There was some type of disease in my neck. He suspected that it was metastatic breast cancer.

We contacted City of Hope, and they asked me to get a bone scan. My life plunged further into darkness when the test came back showing lesions all over my bones. Several tests later, a small tumor in my breast was found, and I was officially diagnosed with stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. It is incurable.

My family decended into the valley of the shadow of death. It was a dark and painful time, and all of our lives changed forever. However, it was during that time God revealed His purpose for me. I have cherished my relationship with God all of my life. Because I had a spiritual foundation, when the bottom of my world dropped out from under me, I had a loving God to catch me. In many ways I feel that God had prepared me for this battle my entire life.

We shared the news with more family and friends, and the prayer support was amazing. I visualized the "switchboard in heaven" completely lit up with prayers for me. We tried to keep up the communication with everyone via e-mail, but a better solution came to mind.

On the eve of my surgery to repair my neck at City of Hope, I started a Blog, and called it "Sandy's Journey of Faith." Little did I know that this was the gift and ministry that God had been training me for. It started with us giving updates, and then turned into a forum in which I could share my faith as I walked hand in hand with Jesus through this trial. Jon would sometimes be a guest writer, and we were getting lots of interest and encouragement from everyone to keep it up.

I am still in awe that I can continue to write and share the ups and downs of living with cancer in such a powerful way. God uses our technology for His glory. I am just the typist, but God is the true writer of this Blog. There are often times when I wake up in the middle of the night (when it is the most quiet) and just start writing something that God has placed on my heart. It is a humbling journey to know that the God of this Universe cares about my Blog, and can use it.

I am forever thankful for the brilliant, and compassionate doctors at City of Hope. I trust them to do what is necessary to give me a good quality of life. My cancer journey has been a roller coaster of chemotherapy, radiation, surgeries, and on going treatments. I believe that God brings doctors into our lives to help us, but He is the ultimate physician, and I have seen miraculous healing as well.

My journey still involves metastasized cancer. God has His reasons for not healing me, and I have learned that His road for me is better that mine. Through it all, I have grown personally closer to Jesus, and I have seen miracles in the lives of people around me that are better gifts that the healing of cancer. When a loved one comes to know this amazing and loving God that I worship, my cancer journey is worth it.

There are hundreds of promises that God has made to those He calls His own. My favorite promise is from Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you." I can say, without hesitation, that God has never left my side throughout this journey of mine. Sometimes the answers have come slower than I would have liked, and often times not in the way I would have envisioned, but God's love is constant and unconditional.

God has taken a broken vessel (me), and has shown His light through the cracks. I am humbled and thankful that you took time to read this Blog. I pray that it has inspired you to seek out a relationship with the one who went to the cross so that you can be free. Jesus makes promises, and He never breaks them.

-Sandy Boulware

Prayer for Salvation

There is not specific prayer that needs to be prayed word for word. It is just a humble statement between you and Jesus as you recognize all that He did because of His love for you. You don't need to clean up your life before saying this prayer. Jesus will help you find a way, through faith, to draw closer to Him.

Lord Jesus, I need You. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life and receive You as my Savior and Lord. Thank You for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Take control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.