Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Count Your Blessings...

One of my favorite songs during the Christmas season is "Count Your Blessings."

When your worried,
and you can't sleep.
Count your blessings
instead of sheep,
and you'll fall asleep,
counting your blessings.

I did not get great news on my CT Scan when I saw my doctor today. It appears that the liver lesions have come back. They are very small, but an indicator that the cancer has advanced and I am not responding to the treatment I was put on in May. Thankfully, I am not going back on weekly chemotherapy. I am going to try a chemo pill (I don't have the name at the moment) that I will take twice a day for the next three weeks and then the doctor will run some blood test to see how I am reacting. Fortunately, there will be no hair loss. There are other side effects that will start to happen in about three weeks.

So, what do you do when given bad news? Cry. Tell the family. Cry some more. Yeah, I am really disappointed at the moment. It is kind of odd, but I just got done telling my small group last meeting that I was so thankful for the reprieve, and I hope that I don't overreact when bad news comes again. I new it would come again at some point. This is what my cancer does. It finds a way around the medication.

As sad as I am, I am still counting my blessings, and get ready, it is a long list!

I got to be off chemo for the summer. No hot wig. Cute short hair. Free to travel and play all summer. New treatment that does not involve going to City of Hope once a week. A reminder that I should not be sweating the small stuff. Having the knowledge that hundreds of people will be praying by the end of the week. The comfort of God's Word. The confidence that God can heal more than once. The love of Christ and that He is in the driver's seat. The journey that has been so sweet. Prayers from my kids. Being taken care of by my husband. A pep talk from Mom. A loving talk with Dad. Deeper prayer time with God. Not having to shoulder this alone.
Great friends. Really, really great friends. Friends that pray.

The list could go on, but you get where I am going. This is not the time to feel sorry for myself. There are gifts to wrap, parties to attend, and songs to sing. Tonight I will be singing about counting my blessings, and praying that God will show me the way to being a blessing to someone else. The journey hasn't ended, it just got interesting...

Thank you for the prayers!
Sandy