This is a look back at Thursday, April 19, 2007
Michelle had pink eye in the morning, so I stayed home with her. I cleaned the house for our guests in the afternoon. Roy Brazzale, Jon’s Godfather, and Gene, Jon’s Dad, were coming over so that Roy could see our new house. We were going to dinner afterwards. Before they arrived, Dr. Woodward’s office called to say that he wanted to see Jon and me in the afternoon. I figured that he wanted to see us both because I probably had an injury that required seeing another doctor, and he wanted to make sure that Jon and I were on the same page. I called Jon, but he was very busy and we had our guests coming. I called back and told Amber that perhaps we could come in the morning. She said she would check. She came back and said that Dr. Woodward wanted to see us tonight and that he would stay for as long as it took for us to get there. My stomach took a little dip.
We went to dinner with our guests, but from that moment on, I had a nervous stomach and I felt very distracted. We did not want to alarm the kids, so we took them with us to Dr. Woodward’s office and told them that we needed to talk to the doctor about my neck. They stayed in the lobby. I don’t know if it was just my nerves, or if there was a definite feeling of anxiety coming from everyone in the front office. I felt very scared, yet I probably would have not been able to pinpoint what I was scared of. All the things we were about to hear really did not occur to me at the time. I think I was feeling like it was a serious injury.
We were told to go on back to Dr. Woodward’s office. When he met us at the door, I saw that his face was stressed and he was definitely not his usual warm self. He told us to sit down and he got right to it. My MRI had come back and it showed that I have a fracture on my C5 vertebra and some abnormality in the C6 and C7. He proceeded to say that when he saw the initial report, he called the technician and had him review it again. Dr. Woodward explained what was showing on my test would have occurred if there was major trauma to my neck, like a car accident. I had no such trauma to back up the severity of my neck injury.
What was said next was like a very bad dream. The report came back and it did not look good. There are findings of bone marrow abnormality that suggests a secondary malignancy such as metastatic breast cancer or melanoma. Other malignancies may give this appearance including leukemia or lymphoma. The room went silent. Shock and horror came over us. This was wrong. I have no history of anything like this in my family!
I remember him saying this was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Dr. Woodward has treated my entire family for years. He has a warm and caring manner that draws you to him, and you trust that he will do what is right to help correct any problem. I can only imagine what it was like for him at that moment. He looked devastated. As I reflect back on that moment I see how God picked Gary Woodward to be the one to break the news. I can’t imagine anyone more compassionate than him.
Jon asked some questions and I sat in shock. My head was pounding and I felt like I was hearing everything through a tunnel. Jon asked what we should do now. Dr. Woodward said, “If she was my wife, I would get her into City of Hope right away.” He said he would help us by calling City of Hope in the morning. He gave us a copy of the MRI report. There it was in black and white. It had to be wrong.
We walked out in shock. We gathered the kids from the lobby and went home. As soon as the kids were in bed I had to call someone. I did not want to tell my parents over the phone. They had just seen my bother, Aaron, leave for Iraq five days ago with his Navy Unit. This was not something you told a parent over the phone. Plus, this had to be wrong. I am healthy and have had no other symptoms other than this sore neck, and a nagging pain in my pelvic area, which I was convinced was from parking on a slanted driveway and jogging up in the hills. I had two calls that I wanted to make for prayer coverage. These two precious friends have seen me through some tough times.
Cindy Axton was my first. Cindy and I met when I came to work at Libbey Glass. We were destined by God to be friends. Cindy was my supervisor at Libbey, but our friendship and love for each other went beyond co-workers. Cindy is one of the great treasures of my life, we are soul mates in every way. She was at choir when I called, so I left a message with her husband, Jim, to call me back no matter how late she got in.
My second call was to Cheryl Powers. Our friendship goes back to our Hacienda Heights Baptist Church days. We grew up in the youth group, and our families used to share a beach home in the summer together. We were in each other’s weddings. I love Cheryl like a sister. Since I don’t have a sister by blood, God blessed me with Cheryl. Nobody was home, so I left a message.
Cindy called around 9:30, and I calmly told her what had happened. I told her about our meeting with Dr. Woodward and the MRI results. I was starting to go into denial, so I told her that I could not imagine this to be correct. I have no history in my family of this. Just pray for me that we can get this figured out. I was in shock, and I am sure Cindy was numb with fear.
Jon and I prayed together before going to bed. It was so unbelievable; we were not able to fully process what had happened to us. In a blink of an eye, our life had taken an unexpected turn. We had our future planned out. We wanted to enjoy our new home that we had worked and prayed about for so long. We wanted to raise our girls to be strong and ethical women who have God as their guide. We wanted to travel and grow old together. This was not in our plan. We have been faithful to God and tried to give back to Him with our time and resources. We have dedicated our family to Him. Why would God allow this to happen? Jon and I did not sleep very well that night. I got up and went in the other room around 2 am, and my stomach was in knots. I turned on the TV and tried to think of other things. I could tell that Jon was restless like me. Neither one of us got much sleep.
