As the year 2011 draws to a close, I can't help but reflect back and wonder what I can take away from this year that will help me in 2012. It is easy to label a year good or bad. Some years are definitely harder than others. This was a good year for me personally, but a bad year for some friends and family.
In February, and friend of mine was diagnosed with lung cancer. She is not a smoker, is a single mom, and had not seen steady work for quite some time. She had just been hired for a job with benefits. Sometimes it is really hard to see God's plan, but she loves God despite the pain, and God has revealed Himself in unexpected ways.
My cousin lost his son this year to drugs and violence. He and his wife raised their two sons with faith and devotion to Jesus, put the boys in a Christian school, and had wonderful family vacations to strengthen their bond. Satan creeped into their son's life under the cloak of friendship, and their oldest son fell away from the family and was lured into a life of feeling good on drugs.
The community of La Verne was hit hard at the end of this year by the tragic death of a young boy who unexpectedly lost his life after having a small bite on his ear got infected and went into his blood stream. We do not know the family well (Rachel was on a soccer team year's ago with the sister), but the reality of how life can change in a second hit us all hard.
Sometimes we wonder where God is and why does He not fix things the way we would like. I can personally say that there have been many times when I have asked that question. We have our human ways of wanting to fix problems or take away pain. There is no easy answer for any of these families. Life has been altered and will never be the same. Yet, God still reveals His love and sorrow for each one of them in intimate and astounding ways. I think if each family was to write about the unexpected ways that they have felt loved by God, we all would be humbled and amazed.
In Women's Bible Study this year, Pastor Betsy gave me a visual that I feel defines what I constantly experience and take away as a lesson for years to come. Betsy was talking about how God's plan is bigger than our own. She referenced an old Star Trek episode (or was it a movie) where Captain Kirk and Spock are playing chess. The chess board is three layers, and when a player makes a move on one level the other levels automatically make moves.
I don't want to give the impression that we are just a game for God, but this image has effected me deeply. To me, it is a visual that life is not always about the one move for us personally; others can be effected by what happens to us and we can be effected by what happens to others. God's purpose is not to make our life easy, and it is not to make our lives miserable. There is a master plan, and we all have a purpose to seek God's love and will no matter what life throws at us. In the midst of pain, God makes a move that effects many people.
I was sick last Christmas, but many people have told me that they don't normally pray, but they prayed for me. My friend with cancer is financially destroyed, but a stranger gave her a gift at Christmas that offered hope to her family, but effected three families in a powerful way. The community comes together in grief, and the ripple effect from that is still resonating in generosity and prayer.
This year had many gifts for me personally. Stable health, great family vacations, and the love of friends and family. But the greatest gifts will be the ones that God intervened in. The deepest joy I have ever felt is the joy that comes from getting a glimpse at the enormous amount of love and attention to detail that God gives when it is least expected. It is in those moments that I see the face of Jesus, and the plan God set into motion for each and every one of use to know His heart.
This coming year brings a big milestone for me. April will mark the fifth year of living with stage 4 cancer. At the time of my diagnosis, to get five good years was considered fortunate. I am thankful that my doctors never accepted that for me, and have navigated my health care to reflect a quality and longevity of life that I am so thankful for. Cancer research continues to make progress and provide many options for my type of metastatic cancer. My family and friends have prayed me to good and stable health, with the belief that God can intervene at any time with complete healing.
It is my deepest prayer that whomever reads this Blog will see God at work and know His love. This Blog often gets passed around to people who are hurting, many times to those who have just been given a devastating diagnosis of cancer. What I want to always be saying in my writings is that there is peace and hope that can be found only through a personal relationship with a God who deeply cares. If you read scripture, you will find that God uses desperate times to His glory. He calls broken people to carry is love. He restores, heals, and comforts.
He is quite simply the greatest love I have ever known.
Sandy
