I am actually not surprised at his death, although I thought it would have happened a long time ago and his death would have been from asphyxiation from alcohol. My Uncle has been an alcoholic for most of his adult life. I have not seen my Uncle since my Grandma's funeral in May of 1998. My only solid memory of my Uncle David is that on a rare occasion he would show up on Christmas Day with lottery scratchers and a six pack of beer. After awhile the beer finally kept him from everyone and everything. My Mother kept in touch with him on a regular basis, but it is difficult to communicate with a drunk.
What can I say about my Uncle's life that will help someone out there? He is an example of what not to do. He lived his life very bitter over a relationship that went sour in his late 20's. He married another woman, but that ended in divorce in his 30's. I don't know his age today, but I think he was around 72. David made bad choices, but the biggest one was to drown his sorrows with beer, which produced more problems, which caused more bitterness. He always had a wall up between himself and family who wanted to be there to help. I feel sad that I finally accepted the wall and stopped trying to contact him other than our Christmas card every year. He went off my radar, but I am sure he was never off of God's radar.
Wasted time. That is what I think of my Uncles life. He wasted all of his life blaming others for the trials that came his way, and he could never move forward and beyond life's disappointments. He only had this one chance on earth, and it is gone. I am sure that David never lived the life that God had mapped out for him. I wonder if David had the opportunity before God to see that if he had picked a different path, he would have had unfathomable blessings throughout his life.
This world will always have pain. Sometimes it is from our own decisions, but sometimes it comes from other's decisions. When those trials come, do you shake an angry fist at God, or do you let Him be your comforter and hope? God is always inviting us to turn to Him. God is not against us. His entire reason for creating us is that we might have meaningful lives. You will never find your meaning without God, and sometimes we have to endure trials to find our purpose.
David's suicide note said, "I am tired of the pain. I am broke all the time. If I die I won't feel the pain."
What has me numb and sick inside is that I don't know if David ever knew Jesus and accepted Him into his heart. If David died without insurance from heaven, then he just sent himself into a life of pain even worse that what he faced here on earth. If you are void of God on earth, then by choice you are forever separated from him in the afterlife. The definition of Hell is eternal separation from God. The decision about where you spend eternity is made while you are here on earth. If you insist on being in control of your life, then you just traded eternal tomorrow for the fleeting moments of today.
God has given us all an invitation to be with him through his son Jesus. There is no greater love that what God has done for us by sending us His own Son to pay the price for our sin so that we can be in God's presence.
God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16
The Bible's message is that God loves us and wants to have a relationship with us. God sent His Son, Jesus, to live among us, be crucified as a sacrifice for our sins, and to raise from the dead so that death no longer becomes the final answer to life. This is the centerpiece of Christianity. Some want to say that Jesus was just a good and moral teacher. Jesus did not give the option to accept Him as a moral teacher. We either accept Him as the Son of God, or reject Him altogether.
Jesus claimed to be the Son of God. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God, or else a madman or something worse." C.S. Lewis' book Mere Christianity
True Christianity is living with a personal relationship with Christ. Christianity offers a loving God who reaches out to redeem humanity. God is Holy beyond our comprehension and can't be in the presence of sin. Jesus bridged the gap by offering himself as a pure sacrifice for our sins. Jesus' crucifixion was God's idea, NOT the Roman Soldiers or the Jewish Leaders. It was NOT forced upon Jesus. He willingly chose it.
When we acknowledge Jesus as our Savior, our hearts begin to change. We relate to others differently. We see ourselves differently. God gives us His peace and joy. We realize we are valuable and loved by the God who created us. We realize that the God who loves us would do anything to get our attention, and so He sent his Son. How do you get God's promises and blessings? By saying this simple prayer:
Dear Heavenly Father, I admit that I am a sinner and that I need your forgiveness. I am sorry for my sins. I need Jesus as my Savior and I want to accept Him into my life. Please wash me with the blood of Christ. I believe you died on the cross in order to give me forgiveness for my sins and eternal life with You. I receive that gift of salvation today. I will respond to Your great love by lifting You up in praise continually, and loving You with all my heart forever. Thank you for hearing my prayer. Amen.
If you have never prayed that prayer before, then you have just become a new member in the family of God and you have a great inheritance! God promises that when we pray this prayer, and mean it with our hearts, nothing will separate us from Him. Romans 8:31-39 says that we are more than conquerors through Jesus who loves us, and that death, nor life, nor demons, nor height, nor depth, nor anything in all creation can separate us from the love of God when we are His.
If you pray the above prayer, will life suddenly get easier? Not necessarily, but the difference will be that God is there to help. With God, you can have a deep inner peace and assurance that He can work all things for His good. Part of growing this new relationship is prayer, reading God's Word, and fellowship with other believers. Find a church family to help you to grow a deeper relationship with Christ.
Jesus asked, "What will profit a man if he gains the whole world but loses his own soul?" Mark 8:36
Death is an absolute certainty. My Uncle wrote a story of his life and signed his own name at the end of the last chapter. We all need to think about the story we are writing with our lives, and what difference we are making while we are on this earth. The decision to accept Jesus will determine where you spend eternity. Let Him be the one to write His name on the last chapter of your life. You will never be sorry!
Blessing to all,
Sandy
