My girls go back to school this Monday, and I think we are in desperate mode. It is always sad at the end of summer when you look back and say, "We didn't get to see ____, or we didn't get to do____." Now we are trying to cram every bit of fun into these last days, and it has been crazy (but fun).
This week I feel really out of wack and I have not been making good decisions. If I am honest this has been building up and I am paying the price. I missed a piano lesson, I was late for an appointment, I did not think before I spoke to a dear friend, and I am indulging way too much on food so that I feel sluggish and completely out of shape.
I have only myself to blame. I have not exercised much this summer. I have had great vacations and did not exercise any self-control when it came to sweets. I have packed so much into the day that I am going from one activity to another, and the biggest one of all is that I have not had quality time with God.
Do you ever feel as if your mind is racing too much and you can't quiet it down long enough to let God get a word in? I have been very good about reading my devotion book every morning, but as I start praying it goes something like this:
Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you so much for all you do for us. Thank you for friends that we can enjoy (did I call back Valerie; be sure to tell Margo...). Thank you for the ocean (I have to buy suntan lotion before tomorrow). Thank you for Jon (his shirts are ready at the dry cleaners), and the girls (when are we going to have time to get school supplies).
Today my devotion was based on Psalm 139:1-24, which is one of my favorites. It reads:
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways"
Most of the time I love knowing that God created me and knows me better than I know myself, but when I am feeling out of step with Him, it is a bit embarrassing to come before Him knowing He sees everything. I can't hide anything from God. He hears all the distracting babble that goes on in my brain. God wants to quiet that stuff and have more meaningful dialogue with me, so He waits patiently until I have had enough and I come to Him asking for forgiveness. The awesome part is that God loves me so much, I am worth the wait. He never gives up on me.
Father,
Thank you for never letting me go. You know my thoughts and mistakes, and you still call me your child. Thank you for teaching me, guiding me, forgiving me, restoring me. You know me better than I know myself. You know I just need you. Help me to clean out the parts of my life that are distracting me from being with you. I love you, Sandy
