I just got done reading The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch. He was a professor at Carnegie Mellon and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Randy decided to give his last lecture and make it count. He wanted to challenge students to overcome obstacles, enable the dreams of others, and get the most out of life. Randy wanted to make a statement; he wanted to leave this earth feeling that he had made a difference. Randy writes this:
"My hour on stage had taught me something. I did have things inside me that desperately needed to come out. I didn't give the lecture just because I wanted to, I gave the lecture because I had to."
If there is a "gift" from having cancer, I would say that it makes you think deeply about the statement you want to make about your life. You think about what people will say about you, and how your kids will remember you. You are forced to think about what is truly important, and what you believe in. Once you have narrowed down what you stand for, you need to live life in reverse. That means you need to do it! Live today to make a statement about who you are and what your convictions are. If you want people to say you were very compassionate, then go do something compassionate. If you want people to say you were giving, then go give.
Randy Pausch was a very analytical thinker. He was a computer scientist, and everything was very calculated. He sometimes comes across very pompous, but if you look deeper he shows great compassion for enabling others to fulfill their dreams. I think Randy really understood that ultimately his life was not about him, but about how he could change the lives of others.
This book made me think about what I am doing with my life and how I want to be remembered. I think I am doing what God intended for me to do in this season of my life, and the greatest honor would be if it touched somebody deep enough to change their life for the better. As I live life in reverse, I only hope to be remembered as a woman with unwavering faith in an awesome God. For me, there is nothing greater than to know that the one true God of this universe cares so deeply about the people He has created, He would go to extremes to get their attention and their heart at the same time.
Each day I fight to remember that the purpose of my life is not about me. It is about my relationship with God. When I think about me, I feel sorry for me. When I think about what God is doing, despite the weak person that I am, I get what He is trying to do and it makes me feel so wonderful inside that I can't help but want to do things God's way. It gives me courage to know that God has a plan, and I am walking in His plan. I know I am walking in God's plan because when I read His words, in the scripture, I see how deeply He cares for me and He does not want me to suffer for nothing.
Praise be to God, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
We all have pain and suffering in our life, but don't suffer for nothing. A deeper relationship with God is the "something" that makes suffering a small bump on the road of life. It is actually through the valleys of our life that we are forced to rely on God and His power instead of our own. God says that He will walk through our valleys with us. He will never leave us alone if we call on Him. What a promise! When you come out on the other side of your valley with a deeper understanding of God's power and promise for your life, then it is all worth it.
Randy was very sad to know he would leave his wife and kids. He originally had only three months to live, but he lived a year. Randy says at the end of his book that the "head trick" to his whole last lecture is that he was imparting these words of wisdom to the students and faculty, but the deeper reason for the lecture was for his kids.
I write from my heart so that I can share my struggles and help others that struggle too. But I hope that someday (many years from now) my own kids will look back on these writings and see the deep, deep love their mother had for her God, and that they will want to pursue that love, and purpose, for themselves.
Sandy
